Troubled Waters Of Trust
‘Trust me on this’ is more often heard than felt. While there may be this surreal race to win someone’s ‘trust’ at all times, but nowadays it doesn’t come that easy. During my therapy sessions, I’ve noticed that clients are either stiffly guarded, cautious or struggle in isolation resulting in blocked energies and rusted belief systems.
Let’s just say ‘trust’ is a trophy and there is an aggressive competition to win it. The popular belief being that your story to win it over has to sound genuine and credible, at least as long as your pitch lasts. It’s absence in one’s life definitely causes a lot of hurt and inner grief. It gives way to anxiety, anger and blocked chakra alignment too.
So what is leading to its societal erosion nowadays? While being competitive is one, the second reason is being extremely insensitive to one another. We have started thriving on our own and are being brought up with values that support this solo, self-absorbing niche for ourselves. Lack of basic trust can be found at places where it rightfully once belonged. In a relationship, at the workplace, between close friends, at home, in interactions with a stranger, trying a new therapy or even while praying. This gives way to a confused generation that takes up inconsequential actions like scheming or empty gossiping leaving them further depleted of values.
One should rather keep their foundation strong and coexist up to one’s integrity maxima or so we had learnt.
While somewhere deep down, our hidden vulnerabilities do coax us to take the first few steps with trust towards the other person, but no sooner than expected, we take two steps back out of sheer caution or get scared of the unknown drama that may follow. While you think you are promptly protecting yourself, but by now your social readiness has gotten further bruised and it will now take a while before it’s ready to confront someone else.
There are many relationships which are hinging on a very sensitive line of trust. Being on either side of a deteriorating one can be hurtful and damaging. So, as a progressive society, can we now make elementary efforts and be trust ready or do we continue riding with this pseudo trust a little more? The journey definitely begins within. Here are a few self introspecting ways, compiled through my various healing sessions, from real-life examples, which will help you heal your blurring streak of trust:
Lower your expectations- While one may mean the world to you, it must really not come with any kind of unspoken pressure of him or her being available at all times for you. As soon as you lower your expectations from the other person, you start experiencing the warmth of the relationship, fewer arguments and fewer clashes.
Outdo your own listening skills- Being a good listener is underrated still, as that selfish person in you may want to grab all the possible limelight. While the other person most definitely deserves a chance and given that, will begin trusting you as a person he can count on.
Check on the other person without a reason- It’s only human to keep casual touch points open. This will give you a distinct identity in the other persons life and he can rely on you more easily than others who he would still be hesitant to approach.
Small gestures go a long way- Especially when they are not selfish and self-obsessed. Yes, think for the other person, their likes and dislikes, co-create new memories and present your thoughts well articulated.
Keep quoting your (along with with your partner) example to others- By doing this you will only strengthen and reaffirm your thoughts about each other. You will be laying much stronger foundations and will also inspire others to follow.
Invest in the other person and mean it- Our first childhood lesson probably is to help others. It’s bookish fairly but all the successful and trustworthy relationships begin from here. It may be work-related or personal, investment on people is never a waste.
Stay away from gossip clans- Refraining really helps generate a lot of positive vibes around you. If one’s confession stays protected with you, you will not have to do anything more to get that trust. It will speak volumes about you as a person and confidante’.
So much for handling the currently traumatised and troubled waters of trust. Hoping this journey would reintegrate your lives and save many collateral damages too. Trust me, it works!
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