This Is How You Complain Constructively!
An often ignored but crucial part of living is how to complain constructively to those who hurt us.
Photo Credit : happyho,
This Is How You Complain Constructively!
Nandita Kochar
Almost inevitably, each day, someone around us will hurt us. It could be a friend, colleague or our partner. They will forget to buy the right groceries at the store or not appreciate the hand made gift we gave them or simply, be rude to us for no fault of ours. Life is not a bed of roses. It is often criss-crossed with quite a lot of thorns.
How we characteristically respond to such maltreatments, believe it or not, goes to the heart of who we are. Our reaction provides us with a choice - to live a life that is bitter and frustrated or to live one where we know how to co-exist tolerably. An often ignored but crucial part of living is how to complain constructively to those who hurt us.
Broadly, there are three ways in which this can be done -
- Rage
Such a method, when adopted, does not allow our complain to be heard because the other party often chooses to block their ears to what we are saying and retaliates with rage too. We achieve nothing.
- Cold
As children, we were surrounded by parents or caretakers who were probably too dominating or indifferent when it came to our complaints. So we swallowed the hard pill and learned to keep the hurt inside us. To this day, we continue simmering with hate on the inside while giving a cold shoulder on the outside.
- Mature Complaint
Instead of belittling other people, we let them know how an action of theirs actually made us feel. We are willing to be vulnerable. We are willing to spell things out as they are - without any rage or cold indifference.
At the same time, we also know that the other person might not always understand what we are saying. But nevertheless, we have to put forth our concerns and not swallow them so that they can pile up and poison us later.
Knowing how to complaint maturely is not something that we are born with. It’s a skill we must learn. Mature complaining allows us to make up with reason and reflection for what we haven’t been able to achieve through our upbringing. It gives us an opportunity to acknowledge our hurt and prize our vulnerability.
It gives us an opportunity to be ourselves, no matter what.
Around The World
Recent
Peculiar PICA
The word “pica” comes from the Latin word for magpie, a bird known for its large and indiscriminate appetite of ingesting random items. ...
Tips on how to set and achieve fitness goals in 2021
While being practical with goals helps staying motivated, knowing yourself and achieving realistic targets directly boosts your self confidence....
Coping with the overwhelming stress caused by the work from home model for employees as well as business leaders
According to a YourDOST study, 58% of Indian working professionals report a significant rise in their stress levels during the pandemic due to a loss ...
Mental Health and the Road to Recovery
The anxiety of COVID itself is magnified for some depending on their circumstances. Some find themselves very isolated and lonely, while others are tr...
Is our struggle inevitable?
Most of us are deeply conditioned by the idea of struggle as a way of life. In fact, we are taught from childhood that only through struggle can one s...
How sportsmanship qualities can help build resilience and provide motivation to face any adversity
Often, when reading about highly motivational stories of grit and succeeding in the face of adversity, we come across stories of sportsmen who display...