Our Greatest Enemy is Ourselves

Love yourself, care for yourself, enrich yourself. Speak your greatest words and live from your greatest self within. You have the power to choose love and happiness and become your own true friend.

We all have foes and enemies, but the greatest one lies within us! In all my years of coaching leaders, executives and politicians on their journey to self-discovery, I’ve found it to be true that the enemies within hold ourselves back through limiting beliefs and low confidence. These thought patterns govern our every move and we end up blaming others for our own failure to initiate change. We steer ourselves in the wrong direction with the fear of being judged critically by others for our actions.

Recently one of my students came to me for advice. She told me she has many enemies due to the nature of work she is involved in in public life, and because of this people don’t truly understand her. She felt she was unfairly portrayed because of her role in society. I told her that the solution was very simple — “You are your own worst enemy!” She paused for a moment, then laughed and agreed, “You are right! My biggest enemy is my own internal dialogue of self-hatred, -criticism, -doubt and inability to trust myself.” I told her, sometimes it is much easier to be our own enemies than be a true friend. It’s a strategy that the mind adopts to protect ourselves from others’ harsh opinions about us that are not true. Most people are unaware of this and it prevents them from experiencing happiness and success.

Buddha said, “You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

Become your own Best Friend

Recognizing the enemy within us and befriending ourselves is simply a matter of when we decide to do it. If you are spending time focusing on misery, letting others determine your life course, and playing the victim, I want to remind you –

You are here to stand out. You are here to leave your own footprints. Walk your own path and let go of being a prisoner of the past. Invest time in becoming your own very best friend and you will be the greatest ally in times of need. This is your best self.

Use the past as a lesson, not a weapon

You have the option to use the past as a destructive weapon or a resourceful teacher. Focusing on hurts and wounds will only overwhelm you with sorrow and lead you down the wrong path. Allow every lesson to become an investment for the future. Let it be your servant, not your master.

Your words — an enemy or foe?

First, we must learn to become our allies. Replace your disempowering thoughts with uplifting, encouraging and inspiring ideas. When we have the power to choose our thoughts, the words we use become even more powerful. This will not only benefit you but every syllable you speak will produce a positive effect on others around you. Happy and successful people speak words of encouragement and inclusion as opposed to words of criticism and rejection.

If we express acceptance and love towards others, they will reflect the same and return it to us. If we judge, others will do the same. Remember this — Words send out powerful energies that awaken attitudes you hold within yourself.

Finally, … Next time ask yourself why you are hesitating to try something new — is it a gut feeling? Is it fear of failure? Or is it losing the identity as a successful person? If it is the latter, then explore your own limiting beliefs and blockages. If you fear being judged by others, refocus on the task at hand. Do this again and again until it becomes a habit. Use your energy towards creativity and creation instead of defending the status quo. We cannot master anything — business, relationships, finance — until we master our thoughts. Your life is your mirror. Empower it with inner wisdom and truth. Love yourself, care for yourself, enrich yourself. Speak your greatest words and live from your greatest self within. You have the power to choose love and happiness and become your own true friend.

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