New Year Resolution

In the pandemic, a small family gathering cannot be treated less than a shindig these days.

Last Saturday of 2020, me after a cup of my favorite Frappuccino with burritos on Saturday morning, was excited to meet my female relative gang, coming at my place for lunch after a long time. In the pandemic, a small family gathering cannot be treated less than a shindig these days. During the cleaning process, my house maid Shanta forgot my weighing scale in front of the center table, which reminded me how fearlessly, I have been getting indulged into endless delicacies since Diwali so I dust off my weighing scale and gingerly balanced myself on it, first incursion of my excess 5 Kg weight makes me think, “This weighing scale must be defective”. While getting dressed up for the lunch, I was shot by another bullet when my regular jeans could not fit at all. This hindsight staggered me back and left me in pieces with a loud inner voice “It’s time to come out of the comfort zone”.

Despite the best intentions for the coming Year, me scribbling with some new hopes, started with new Gym memberships followed by major changes like chocolates will be replaced by carrots, candy crush will edge out Moby dick, ice-creams with Jaggery and so on. Mere a thought of getting a Shilpa Shetty like body, with a great new year resolution list worked as a primer that might keep you off the couch and on the Tread Mill at the very next moment.

My relatives arrived for lunch, and invariable before they have been even offered their seats, the topic goes on weight and suddenly my, 31, year old cousin sister, Neha got congratulated for losing extra 2 Kg since we last saw her. This incident reminds me my extra 5 Kg on the weighing machine and in the next moment I chose to distract myself instructing Shanta to serve the Italian delicacies, which I specifically ordered from San Gimignano, Janpath for the lunch today. After everyone being settled, a cool air float in my body by listening a story of my 34 year old sister in law chirping with an entire 15 min monologue about her gaining an extra kilo weight in the grief of her neighbor aunt died and blaming the ice cream she ate. I assume she ate family pack of Mango ice cream.

The entire women gang was incessantly bickering about their looks, weight and efforts put in losing some extra pounds. My, 40 year old, Bua was sharing her new year goal of looking 10 year younger by joining Cult and wearing a bikini at Banana Beach in Phuket for a trip in January with my 40 year old Phufaji, I was wondering she has not made any plan of sending Phufaji in time machine to atleast match her age at the beach. In the meantime, Shanta entered with some amazing home-made matar samosa and masala tea and Neha straightaway denied, to taste the same and moaned about her dreadful relentless struggle of suffering pain to look attractive by plucking her extra body hair and cutting out her diet to impress her average looking husband as he is not less than Ricky Martin.

Anxiety and stress followed me entire day, intrudes my conversation, interrupted my lunch, whispers as I try to stay calm like I was harangued by an incensed ballerina. Constant perpetual thoughts, coming at a pace from hundreds, of direction at once. I was simply looking to blow off some steam, so I put my sneakers on and hit the nearest park in the evening around 7 pm.

Every Indian man from bald hair to flat stomach is seeking out for a slim, young woman in Indian Matrimony. Without getting worried about their beach body men just worry about chasing hot chicks and a glass of martini. Why a woman is traipsing around back and forth measuring her some pots of body plump and rest skinny with a fear about their flat husbands getting bore and chasing outside for some temporary gig. In today’s world, why blond hair is deeply desirable whereas white hair is completely unacceptable, why a 38, year old lady, is under constant stress about her hair falling down, but she is happy to see her half bald husband not thinking about hair transplantation.

Is this a convoluted mystery of “What women want”? and why in particular we have been given this arbitrary guideline, to create our space and walk the world, Can we make a conscious choice of taking the best care of our body and mind by accepting the fact that health comes in different shapes and sizes at every age and welcome 2021 with serendipity without holding any grudge of gaining extra inches.