Let’s Stop The Lying Epidemic

It is said that human beings are predisposed to lying. We tell at least 3 lies a day and are being lied to at least 10 to 200 times a day, depending on the number of people that you interact with.

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It is said that human beings are predisposed to lying. We tell at least 3 lies a day and are being lied to at least 10 to 200 times a day, depending on the number of people that you interact with.

The Start

Children use their creative imagination to story tell, and as a mother of three, I can tell that some children lean more towards it than others. It’s important for parents to draw the lines for their children by allowing for creativity in situations where it is required and making it a point to teach them to distinguish between the moments. 

Lying develops as early as age 2. Kids get better at lying as they get older. In a study conducted by Kang Lee it was found that among two-year-old transgressors, only 30 per cent are untruthful. Among three-year-olds, 50 per cent lie and by eight, about 80 per cent claim they didn’t cheat in the experiment, although they actually did. Fundamental to lying is the brain’s executive function: the abilities required for planning, attention, and self-control.

One of the key concepts of habit formation is that the more we do it, the more effortless it becomes. In fact, the act of lying causes changes in the brain’s network. This has been mapped through EEG. In a 2016 study conducted, it was found that whenever someone uttered a false statement, a burst of activity was observed in the amygdala - the brain’s centre for fear, guilt, and emotions. But as the frequency of lies increased the activity in the amygdala decreased. Lying, eventually, desensitizes your brain to the fear of getting caught or hurting someone else in the process. 

Parenting

As a parent, you need to teach your child to honour themselves, by allowing them to be who they are. Another key point is to be that role model yourself. Teach them to love themselves by loving yourself. And never compare your child to another because it is them that their feelings of inadequacy begin. You are the protector of their self-worth and self-esteem. Its time to take that role seriously. 

Relationship

If you’re in a relationship with a compulsive liar, you need to disassociate yourself from their stories so that their lies don’t affect you. See the signs. A compulsive liar has the need to decorate and exaggerate. They tell people what they want to hear and will often boast about themselves. While pathological liars, will take it a step further and continue the lie even though they know you know they are lying. 

Dr. Ekman said that he found this rule-of-thumb helpful: "In the first half hour of meeting someone if I want to invite them home for dinner, I watch out!" he says. That means their charm, a characteristic of liars, may have worked its devilish magic.

Personal 

Lying is very dangerous because it prevents us from being honest with ourselves. We start to believe our own lies and when reality strikes us, there is a breakdown. This is caused by feelings of inadequacy and hopelessness. Robert Feldman of the University of Massachusetts, correctly states the connect between lying and self-esteem, "We find that as soon as people feel that their self-esteem is threatened, they immediately begin to lie at higher levels.”  

The End

It’s time we end the lying.

1. If you’ve developed a false identity through your lying, then its time to come to a therapist to develop a new relationship with yourself. 
2. If you are in a relationship with a compulsive liar, please guide them to seek help. It is only the weakest who lie. It is said that men lie to make themselves look good, but women lie to make others feel good. Whatever the reason, it needs working on.
3. If you are a parent and you detect lying, please check your parenting skills as well as your relationship with your child. Additionally, introspection might be helpful to understand yourself as a role model.
4. If your colleague, boss or subordinate is consistently lying, then its time to provide them with a safe place for a gentle confrontation that highlights you not being comfortable with the lying and ensure that you are vocal about the gaps it is causing in relating to the other.

Say NO to Lying!